We all compare ourselves to others. It’s human nature. Most of us also want to play at the highest possible level, whether it’s adults in the workplace (“I can do a better job than that guy”) or athletes competing for recruitment and scholarships.

The phrase “I can play at that level” or “my kid can play at that level” is regularly invoked by players, coaches, and parents as a way of promoting a player in an effort to be recruited at a level higher than they currently are. We’ve all got a bias. Consequently, this is usually not an accurate statement. Even when it is accurate, it’s the answer to the wrong question. The question isn’t can you play at that level, it’s can you get recruited at that level. Some kids are good enough to be on the field, the rink or on the court with players of a higher caliber and not look out of place. That doesn’t mean they have the same level of talent. There’s a big difference between being playing at that level and being good enough to be recruited at that level. To be recruited at that level a coach must generally believe you will make the team better. Understanding this difference is an important part of understanding recruiting. This is a hard thing for parents, athletes and coaches. Those who get it and are able to be realistic with themselves will avoid setting themselves up to fail, and the confusion and disappointment that goes with it.