Too many golfers, especially girls, are choosing full rides over schools that offer partial scholarships but are a better fit. It’s a big part of why we’re seeing so many transfers recently.
This came out in a recent conversation I had with a Big XII women’s golf coach talking about how families are deciding which college to choose. It’s indicative of two things. One, the financial pressure families are feeling to pay for college. Two, most families don’t know how to make a good college choice.
I think it’s important for families to be able to share and learn from the experiences of other families. This section of blogs gives parents the opportunity to share experiences that I think could be valuable to others.
The email below is from the father of a 9th grade athlete to the coach of his child’s club team. It covers a lot of topics in one email. When I use it as a tool for review in my workshops, not only do we talk about the criticism of the club team, but also the perspective of the parent. It’s always easier for all of us to see something in someone else than in ourselves. The idea here isn’t only right and wrong. It’s also a chance to quickly get into a lot of different topics that are important for all families.
From: Gerry Harrison
To: Coach Derosiers
Subject: Henry Harrison
Coach Derosiers,
I am not naïve nor stricken with ‘dampened’ intellect to recognize that the organization doesn’t give ‘two shits’ what I think. The organization has every right and responsibility to do what they believe is in their best interest including who they wish to have representing their organization. This is the organizations right and prerogative. This is irrefutable. All reasonable minds must agree to such of which I resoundingly embrace. In addition, I have no ‘misconceptions’ or grandiose ‘delusions’ of what my son represents as to his current respective skill set. Unlike many parents, I have a very tempered and humbled understanding of this dynamic even though I see him through his father’s eyes.
The organizational dynamic that is reprehensible is to ask of those who are attempting to participate in good faith to conduct themselves in one manner while the organization conducts themselves in another. The Tornadoes organization asks of those who are petitioning to be a part of their organization to conduct themselves with respect and reverence to the process. As Mr. Brown presented on one of his first slides during one of two parent meeting presentations the simple words – ‘Don’t be a Jerk’. Mr. Brown went on to espouse the culture and values the organization represents and embraces and the like expectation that these values were to be embraced and represented by those they entrust to wear a Tornadoes jersey. Historically, the organization has, as always, cautioned their players and parents against ‘jumping’ from one team to another when other teams attempt to ‘poach’ players from one organization to the next – “Don’t be that guy” is the rallying cry the Tornadoes organization preaches. Communication from Mr. Reed identified one player for the 03’s who was not in attendance had already been given a spot on the team and that all calls for the remaining spots would be completed by Wednesday. The delay was characterized as needing time because of yours and his demands ‘to the school and other things’.
The ‘try-outs’ were immediately followed by the organization attempting to ‘poach’ players from the Jr. Pioneers ensuring them a spot on the team. They were given 48 hours to make a decision and a spot would be held for them. This is why Wednesday was the timeline. This is the identical conduct of the Jr. Pioneers two years ago towards the Tornadoes organization. Spots of the same leopard.
You don’t want Henry. Strength and ‘confidence building’ are an excuse and you text me to communicate your decision – easy. But as I have told you personally, one must take your decision dutifully because you are the person of authority accountable to the decision. Make no mistake about this. I understand this completely and have reverence to such. However, the conduct of the organization of which you represent is reprehensible for the reasons aforementioned.
You have been given a gift by God that affords you a position in life that others can only dream of. With such gifts comes equal responsibility. The inherent ‘goodness’ of the sport and the joy, pleasures and the life lessons it bestows to those who play it and to those who watch it deserves respectful oversight. The kind of mutual respect demonstrated by the perennial ‘playoff’ handshake unique only to this greatest of all sports.
All the best moving forward to both you and the Tornadoes organization. I truly mean this. The game deserves it.
With kindest regards,
Gerry Harrison
Even if today’s players are incredibly gifted, they grow up in a basketball environment that can only be called counterproductive. AAU basketball has replaced high school ball as the dominant form of development in the teen years. I coached my son’s AAU team for three years; it’s a genuinely weird subculture. Like everywhere else, you have good coaches and bad coaches, or strong programs and weak ones, but what troubled me was how much winning is devalued in the AAU structure. Teams play game after game after game, sometimes winning or losing four times in one day. Very rarely do teams ever hold a practice. Some programs fly in top players from out of state for a single weekend to join their team. Certain players play for one team in the morning and another one in the afternoon. If mom and dad aren’t happy with their son’s playing time, they switch club teams and stick him on a different one the following week. The process of growing as a team basketball player — learning how to become part of a whole, how to fit into something bigger than oneself — becomes completely lost within the AAU fabric.
– Steve Kerr, Head Coach, Golden State Warriors