Category Archives: E-mail of the Day

Email of the Day: Changing Schools Too Many Times

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These emails are part of an exchange between me and a parent who contacted me looking for advice on having his child change prep schools. This same parent opted not to hire me a year ago when the child last switched schools. This is the child’s third school in four years (one public, one parochial, one prep – he reclassed) and they want to switch to a fourth school for his final year. His younger brother also currently attends the same school and they would like the two to stay together.

 

Kyle,
I tend to look at a much bigger picture than most families and others involved in the process. In your case, I think Michael should stay at his current prep school. After 3 schools in 4 years, it’s pretty clear the problem isn’t the schools, it’s Michael, you and his mom. You are the common denominator. If your goal is to best position yourselves for the future, the best thing you can do right now is to stick it out for once. That will start to try to reverse the bad foundation you’ve laid and the bad habit you’re all in of picking the wrong school and/or leaving when things get tough. (As it stands now, you’re likely to keep doing the same thing when he gets to college.) I think the best plan for everyone is to stay where he is and hire me now to help you with the college process. That’s the big picture.

If you want to just look at the smaller picture and decide you definitely want to change schools, I have a couple that I think are exactly what you’re looking for. I said yesterday that you can’t afford to make another mistake, but there’s another way to look at it that’s probably more accurate or at least more realistic. At this point, from a basketball standpoint, you have nothing to lose. You know you’re not going to get the basketball you want at his current school next year and you’ve already been to 3 schools so one more isn’t going to make much of a difference. If you want to, you can definitely put him in a better overall basketball situation for his last year. This will put him in the best position to be recruited and ready to play at the college level.

I know that ideally, Sam would move to the same school as Michael. The schools I have in mind would also be a good match for Sam and have room for him.

 

Mike

 

Dad’s response:

Mike,

I appreciate you keeping it real.  Kris and I both deep down felt the right move is to stick it out at his current school.  Michael loves the school, academics are great, etc.

Kris and I plan to have a call with his AD and coach and express our concerns, give them a chance.  You are right, Michael needs to stick it out and us supporting his habit of when it gets tough roll out needs to stop.

 

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Email of the Day: Communicating with College Coaches

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Most parents are uncomfortable trying to initiate recruiting communication with college coaches. Few do it well. Here’s a good example of an appropriate inquiry from parents and a well-written, honest, no BS response from a D1 coach. (If you’re curious, the coach responded in two days, which is more than appropriate.)

 

Dear Coach Smith,

Our daughter is Ophelia Harris and she would like to play for you.  She is a rising junior at West High School located here in Monroe Tennessee.  We are naïve to the process so we are soliciting you directly for guidance, direction and interest on how we might possibly move forward.  My wife and I hope this is not inappropriate.

Brief background: Ophelia is attending West HS because of academics.  For 2020 US News and World Report currently ranks West at 13 th in National Rankings.  She currently is carrying at or near a 4.0 GPA.  Humbly, she is very athletic.  Her formal basketball training is very new compared to her peers.  Her early athletic pursuits were focused on figure skating and have since transitioned to basketball.  Her basketball pursuit is currently represented by individual personal training, High School team and AAU teams.

We have attached a brief ‘Hudl Video’ from some of her high school games from the abbreviated 2020-2021 season which all are in agreement was a very challenging COVID season for all.

Again, my wife and I are attempting to drive a process we are unfamiliar with so reaching-out to you directly.  We are for certain you are very busy.  As your schedule permits, if you would be so kind to provide your feedback it would be most welcomed as deemed appropriate.

Thank you in advance for your generous response.

 

With kindest regards,

George & Astelle Harris

 

 

Mr. Harris,

Thank you for reaching out, and thanks for your patience in my response. According to NCAA rule, I am not allowed to engage with prospects or their parents via email once they enter high school up until September 1st entering their Junior year. However, I understand how difficult this process is, and I want to help you with as much information as I can without commenting specifically on Ophelia’s talent as it relates to Eastern State University (trying to stay as compliant as possible). Anyway, I truly commend you to wanting to help your daughter and for seeking help in that regard.

For some background, I’ve coached at the DI, DII and DIII levels. They are all very different. Right now, is the perfect time to begin to think about Ophelia’s recruitment as mid-major DIs and lower are just now developing their lists for her age group. As she is still a sophomore, this will be a big spring and summer for her where she will begin being evaluated and eventually recruited. Right now, though, the goal is to just get her on programs’ radars. I’d start by compiling a highlight tape, which you’ve done. I’d then have a link to a full game film that you think most appropriately shows her skill set. Lastly, I’d get her season statistics from her high school head coach. After that, I’d target programs of interest and I’d shoot them emails, attaching my summer schedule and contact numbers for the high school and/or AAU coach. I’d also encourage you to ask Ophelia’s high school and AAU coach to essentially do the same things. Tip: address each coach individually and send one email per recipient, it makes it feel more authentic and often is a separator for prospects. In addition to those things, I do think it helps to go to the Elite Camps of the programs that she is interested in. Unfortunately, due to COVID, I’m not sure how many of those opportunities there will be this year.

As far as evaluating Ophelia, from her highlight tape I can tell that her motor seems very high, she seems to play very hard and is very athletic. Based on her skill, size and athleticism that I was able to see in the highlight tape, she seems best suited for a DII level program as a quick/slashing small forward or power forward. I’ll be quite transparent, at this age, most prospects are at that DII level, so please do not take that as a slight. This summer, I’d encourage her to work on her ball skill (vision) as well as continuing to work on shooting the ball. I couldn’t tell much defensively from the highlight tape, but I could tell that she seems to be an impressive rebounder with good instincts for the ball. Based on her athleticism, I’d assume she is a solid defender, but I’d challenge her to be exceptional with those instincts and length and try to be as disruptive as possible. I haven’t seen full game film or anything, so please take this all with a grain of salt, but that’s what I could access through the tape.

Again, you all are taking good steps at the right time as far as reaching out. Ophelia is tracking as she should be talent wise. Last thing is for her to get ready and have a great summer!

Hope this helps!

 

Laurel Smith
Head Women’s Basketball Coach
Eastern State University

 

 

 

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Smart College Recruitment

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The email below is my response to a parent who called asking for help with college recruitment. Her daughter, a junior who just reclassified, already has 3 full D2 offers. Mom is getting contacted regularly by colleges and has no idea how to respond. She was never an athlete herself and by her own admission has no understanding of the college recruiting process (a better place to start than many of you think). The starting point here is zero.

 

Hi Tamara,

Thanks for calling yesterday to talk about making a list of colleges that we should be looking at for Shanise. Here are some quick thoughts/guidelines to use as we go through Shanise’s recruitment over the next 1-2 years.

Education. This should be the most important factor. We don’t want to sacrifice on education if at all possible. We shouldn’t have to, if we do it right. You’d be stunned and disappointed at how many families say it’s most important but make decisions and choices that prove it’s really not. Let’s get the best education we can for Shanise. We’ll need to use basketball to do that. She can get admitted to a better college by leveraging her basketball than she could based on just her academic profile.

Cost. She’s already been offered some full D2 scholarships, so we know we can get a college education for free. Most families would give anything for that. At the right D3 school it may be worth it to pay a few thousand dollars per year instead of accepting a D2 or D1 full scholarship. That might sound crazy, but we should consider paying a little if the difference in level of education is very large and if we know the payback (lifetime earnings difference) is more than worth it.

D1. This would be great if we can get it. We’re not there yet. She may never get to that level. If she does, ideally she’d end up at a Patriot League school, Ivy League school or schools like Bryant, SUNY Binghamton, Vermont, William & Mary etc. that offer an excellent education.

D2. There are very few D2 schools that offer the high level of education we want and should be able to get. None of the D2 offers she currently has provide that level of education. The short list of the best academic D2 schools includes: (listed by academic rank and then alphabetically)

• Hillsdale College – Highly+ Competitive
• Bentley University – Highly Competitive

• Stonehill College – Very+ Competitive
• Assumption College – Very
• Grand Valley St. University – Very
• Le Moyne College – Very
• Mich. Tech University – Very
• Northern Michigan University – Very
• New York Institute of Technology – Very
• Pace University – Very
• St. Michael’s College – Very
• University of the Sciences – Very

D3. There are many excellent D3 academic schools/leagues. The best are the UAA and NESCAC. If she does well on her SAT/ACT we should focus on those and similar leagues. The UAA and NESCAC are the best D3 educations in the US and they are the best D3 women’s basketball leagues in the US. Outside of those leagues, let’s start by looking at SUNY Geneseo. I think they’ll be all over her, she can get admitted, and it could be a great choice. The education is excellent (Highly +), they play great D3 ball (they go to the NCAA tournament virtually every year), it’s close to home, the price should be right and I think it could fit her personality very well.

We should start the process from the ground up. That means starting with D3 schools. Yes, I know, everybody wants to play at the highest level and get a scholarship. You’ve already got D2 offers, so you might be thinking I’m nuts for saying we should be considering D3 schools. Smart families have the highest level as their goal, but start from the D3 level and work their way up.

I’m sure you’ll have lots of questions. Let me know when you do.

Thanks.

 

Mike

 

 

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Parent Blogs: Club Team Hipocracy

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I think it’s important for families to be able to share and learn from the experiences of other families. This section of blogs gives parents the opportunity to share experiences that I think could be valuable to others.

The email below is from the father of a 9th grade athlete to the coach of his child’s club team. It covers a lot of topics in one email. When I use it as a tool for review in my workshops, not only do we talk about the criticism of the club team, but also the perspective of the parent. It’s always easier for all of us to see something in someone else than in ourselves. The idea here isn’t only right and wrong. It’s also a chance to quickly get into a lot of different topics that are important for all families.

 

 

From: Gerry Harrison
To: Coach Derosiers
Subject: Henry Harrison

Coach Derosiers,

I am not naïve nor stricken with ‘dampened’ intellect to recognize that the organization doesn’t give ‘two shits’ what I think. The organization has every right and responsibility to do what they believe is in their best interest including who they wish to have representing their organization. This is the organizations right and prerogative. This is irrefutable. All reasonable minds must agree to such of which I resoundingly embrace. In addition, I have no ‘misconceptions’ or grandiose ‘delusions’ of what my son represents as to his current respective skill set. Unlike many parents, I have a very tempered and humbled understanding of this dynamic even though I see him through his father’s eyes.

The organizational dynamic that is reprehensible is to ask of those who are attempting to participate in good faith to conduct themselves in one manner while the organization conducts themselves in another. The Tornadoes organization asks of those who are petitioning to be a part of their organization to conduct themselves with respect and reverence to the process. As Mr. Brown presented on one of his first slides during one of two parent meeting presentations the simple words – ‘Don’t be a Jerk’. Mr. Brown went on to espouse the culture and values the organization represents and embraces and the like expectation that these values were to be embraced and represented by those they entrust to wear a Tornadoes jersey. Historically, the organization has, as always, cautioned their players and parents against ‘jumping’ from one team to another when other teams attempt to ‘poach’ players from one organization to the next – “Don’t be that guy” is the rallying cry the Tornadoes organization preaches. Communication from Mr. Reed identified one player for the 03’s who was not in attendance had already been given a spot on the team and that all calls for the remaining spots would be completed by Wednesday. The delay was characterized as needing time because of yours and his demands ‘to the school and other things’.

The ‘try-outs’ were immediately followed by the organization attempting to ‘poach’ players from the Jr. Pioneers ensuring them a spot on the team. They were given 48 hours to make a decision and a spot would be held for them. This is why Wednesday was the timeline. This is the identical conduct of the Jr. Pioneers two years ago towards the Tornadoes organization. Spots of the same leopard.

You don’t want Henry. Strength and ‘confidence building’ are an excuse and you text me to communicate your decision – easy. But as I have told you personally, one must take your decision dutifully because you are the person of authority accountable to the decision. Make no mistake about this. I understand this completely and have reverence to such. However, the conduct of the organization of which you represent is reprehensible for the reasons aforementioned.

You have been given a gift by God that affords you a position in life that others can only dream of. With such gifts comes equal responsibility. The inherent ‘goodness’ of the sport and the joy, pleasures and the life lessons it bestows to those who play it and to those who watch it deserves respectful oversight. The kind of mutual respect demonstrated by the perennial ‘playoff’ handshake unique only to this greatest of all sports.

All the best moving forward to both you and the Tornadoes organization. I truly mean this. The game deserves it.

 

With kindest regards,

Gerry Harrison

 

 

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Videos – One Critique

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One of the most effective ways we all learn is by watching others and their mistakes.

Here’s an email I wrote recently to a high school senior. Overall, he’s a solid, likable kid from a good family. Like a lot of kids (and families), in this case he’s beating himself. The recruiting process is tough enough without beating yourself. Much of it is out of your control. Take care of those things that you can control. This email is packed with important concepts that every family can benefit from.

 

Kenny,

 

You’re worried about getting a D1 offer and frustrated by things currently out of your control, but you’re not doing what you need to do to help yourself. I emailed you a couple weeks ago about fixing your HUDL page, but nothing’s changed. If you’re lucky enough to get a scholarship coach to visit your page, they are going to leave before they ever see what you want them to see. It’s a disorganized mess. When you make coaches go looking for what they want, when you make it hard on them, they just leave and go looking at videos of other kids. It needs to have some order and simplicity. Right now it’s just what I call a vanity page. It’s designed for you, your family and friends. If you do get serious about prep school, this page as it currently stands is making it harder for us to find one. Prep school coaches have all the same problems with it that the college coaches have with it. They need to see certain things and they’re not there.

 

You must have a highlight video from THIS year available and at the top of the page. At the very least you need to pin last year’s highlight video to the top instead of the video that’s there now. The problem with last year’s is when coaches see only last year’s video, they think you’re hiding something about this year, something you don’t want them to see. That makes them nervous. That’s a problem for you. You also need to get rid of some of the other short videos. They’re adding nothing but confusion.

 

Finally, the 4.5 40 time is still listed in the left hand column. We talked about that before and you told me you didn’t know how it got there. You need to delete that. It’s false advertising.

 

Let me know if you have any questions.

 

Thanks.

 

Mike

 

 

Michael A. Stone

Prep School Sports Connection

Matching Athletes With Prep Schools

Phone: +1 (585) 348-7180

Skype: prepschoolsportsconnection

facebook: prepschoolsportsconnection

LinkedIn: prepschoolsportsconnection

mike@prepschoolsportsconnection.com

www.prepschoolsportsconnection.com

 

 

 

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